Sleep, patience, and dinner with my family were all sacrificed to the grind of billable hours for too many nights to count. The time I enjoyed a dinner at home or a full night's sleep was replaced by cases. Each time I finished a trial, I thought the next trial would help slow me down. Every time, though, it never did. I cannot pinpoint a moment when everything fell apart; instead, I accumulated a list of events canceled and dinners missed that made it impossible to feel anything alarmed about canceling on others.

The night I did not recall my last day off made me realize that my pace had become overwhelming. I did not realize this, however, until I could not attend a family function that I vowed I wouldn't miss again because of the pressures one faces when working on cases and deadlines. Usually trial schedules and deadlines do not allow one to check themselves. So, the burden remains invisible until something personal starts happening. By the time I realized it, I had been carrying that burden for months without understanding how significant a burden it had become.

When admitting I was struggling, I feared it would change the way my clients and colleagues perceived me. As for some people, a lawyer is supposed to maintain control, no matter what uncertainty exists behind the scenes. So, asking for help signified that you did not maintain control. There are many attorneys who I know have kept their struggles secret for the same reasons and are now still waiting for the same missed dinner.

Once I decided to accept help, I was able to change how I scheduled my time and how many cases to accept. I created a cap for my cases and set aside a specific time from work, in disbelief that I could do so without losing clients. Also, I started delegating trial preparation earlier rather than the night before for the trial. By eliminating the late-night work, I was able to go into court not exhausted, resulting in better prepared clients, because as their attorney had the bandwidth to concentrate on their case versus just keeping their head above water that week.

The grind of the billable hour caused me to lose time with the people who meant the most to me, not just exhaustion at the end of what felt like a long day. I actually realized it late. Having an experience running a company before practicing law gave me the chance to compare this to how other lawyers could not, and so I was able to see these red flags much quicker than colleagues who came through law school and went directly to practicing law. Even with that, it took me years to recognize how busy I appeared with all of my work and was in fact hiding the cost of my law practice, simply because the way looked like how well I was doing.

Over time, there was no single, dramatic breaking point, but a gradual change through several trial seasons. The preparation for trials started to require me to give up my weekends, weekends that were once too important, and the recovery time between each case slowly disappeared until there was none left. The slow erosion over time, rather than one or two bad days, prompted me to finally make a true change.

As a former CEO, I always felt that I was losing control of the company if I asked for help, and that mindset carried over immediately to my role as Principal Lawyer of MK Law, where I felt the pressure to lead from a place of having complete command of what was being done in my firm never eased. If I admitted I needed help, it would feel like I was incapable of doing the job (even though my job was exactly the reason I needed the help). High performers usually wait the longest to admit they need help, as their ability to perform at the highest level is often confused with them being able to go above and beyond what a reasonable person would expect.

And so I learned to ask for help whenever needed. It does not just help me to be a better lawyer, but as a person who also helps other people trying to cope with different things, too.

As an attorney myself and founding partner of HHJ Trial Attorneys, I have seen firsthand how the pressures of litigation and having to continuously perform can silently lead to burnout. Although my career holds great meaning for me, the reality of having to always be on hand and meeting deadlines, in addition to dealing with the emotional stress of the toughest moments of my clients' lives, had a price. I forfeited family time, was unable to turn off once my workday ended, and took stress and exhaustion for granted.

I recognized this wasn't sustainable when I saw that putting in extra time wasn't resulting in improved work product. On the contrary, I found myself feeling tired mentally, unfocused, and overly reactive. This was important, as our clients require intelligent representation rather than an attorney who is burned out.

The reason I put off seeking help for so long was due to the culture of the legal profession itself. Lawyers learn how to fix things for everyone else but don't realize it's okay to ask for help when they're having a hard time. There was fear in thinking it could be seen as a sign of weakness or lack of resiliency.

Turning to sources of support affected me personally and professionally. First, it made me more mindful of creating boundaries, taking the time to recuperate, and understanding that sustained success comes from prioritizing oneself. My work became higher-quality due to the fact that I was able to be more present and make good decisions. Burnout does not mean that an individual does not have a passion for their field; rather, it may come from being overly dedicated to the client while ignoring oneself. It is good for the legal profession when lawyers understand that it is okay to seek help.

What the billable-hour grind costs most is interior space. When every hour must be captured, measured, and defended, there is less room for thought, recovery, and the kind of perspective good lawyering actually requires. Early in practice, I saw how easy it was to keep functioning at a high level while becoming increasingly detached from normal rhythms like sleep, relationships, and unstructured time. That pattern can look successful from the outside even as it becomes corrosive within.

The signal that it was unsustainable came when constant pressure started feeling normal rather than temporary. Help often gets postponed because lawyers fear being seen as less resilient. After support entered the equation, consistency improved, stress became more manageable, and work felt purposeful again.